Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Guys I'm sick of your blogs

I'm jealous of pahan , indi and shakunthala because i do not know how they have developed such sites

I hate sudaraka because he makes my blog a website of a 5th Grader

I avoid visiting chamila and kalinga because they eat my time

And above all I m sick of all you guys for you all have proved that girls are dumb when it comes to computing( I m not talking about the blog posts. I m referring to the format, color combinations and the technologies that you have used to make the pages appear dangerously lovable)

As a victim of your brilliantly developed pages, I have the right to point my finger towards the

some simple questions;

--how many times have you chased away your sister from the computer?
--how many times have you deleted your sisters' documents just to take revenge for a silly thing?
--how many times have you hidden music and movie files so that the sister would spend less time in front of the computer?

and, how many of you have given user accounts with administrator rights to your sisters?

guys I know your answer.

But you alone are not the criminals.

Our culture itself limits a girl to the kitchen from birth to death. When parents buy toys for
children, they go for dolls for the girl and cars for the boys. In few days, the girl becomes an expert in raring children and the boy becomes an excellent car driver.

The story continues.

When the girl wants to touch the car, the boy wouldn't let her.

The car and the doll reside in the beds of the respective owners without even being touched by the other.

Time passes, a computer comes home and the same story continues.

Touching the computer is prohibited for the girl as she would "break it". Most of the times, this rule is imposed by the boys on girls.

It is true that everything is best learned by experience. Then why boys don't let the girls experience and learn? why don't they allow girls to do mistakes? why don't boys remember that it is the way they learned?

I have been fighting over this issue for ages with my brother and this is what he had to say as a conclusion.

"I make mistakes and i do learn. but when it comes to you, you do silly things ( for example, changing the modem settings to see how the performance changes with the settings and leaving it as if nothing happened. cz I m sure he will kill me, if he knew i had done that) but you do them at least twice to learn."

Yes, an average girl is not the techno type, she would be into more feminine things all the times. For example, just take Facebook. Girls would be talking of all the status messages of the hot guys in town and about the number of gifts she had received. But a boy would be speaking of the security in face book and he might compare Face book to Linked In.

Girls do not talk of security in Facebook because it is none of their business. they just want to keep in touch with friends and that is it. she doesn't have enough time to spend in front of the computer and she is not expected to. have you ever heard of a girl who is referred to by the parents as a child who is always sitting in front of the computer? (i bet no. but if you have heard, you are lucky)

You see it is obvious that girls take a lot of time to learn.

Now to the point of view of the boys. you might say that girls do not have the interest in computing cz they can get everything done by boy friend or brother.

you are correct.

Any way, im lucky to have to have a brother who comments about my modem usage in the blog and say in person that i myself have to find the ways to control it. I think that is what you should do. let her experience and learn but ,support her to do it.(although my brother is too stingy when it comes to support)

On the other hand,as chamila said in comments of my previous post, most of the ladies think they cannot work as well as men.(ගැහැනුන් තුල (75% and decreasing) ස්වාභාවයෙන්ම තියෙනවා හීනමානයක්.. මට පිරිමි තරම් වැඩ කරන්න බෑ තියලා...). this is one of the key reasons for girls to give the field of computing.

But there are exceptions too, do you konw that the head of the Computer Science Department in University of Moratua is a lady?

After all, here i am, trying to edit the blog template for a week to get a share this button at the end of all the posts.

Guys now you can laugh at me( for i know, in your eye,i m a girl who downloads you tube videos this way)

The reason is that i know only a little bit of html and java. But at least i know that there are many things to learn.

The lack of knowledge made me helpless (In fact, it also made me sick of the nice blogs) and sick of our culture which nourishes the stupid idea that the girls are for kitchen.

And one important point.

It is learning and experience with the support of my brother.

If he does not allow me to use the computer through out the day, I would be thinking that blogging is just about posting and adding widgets to the template.

So guys, one humble request, help your girls and sisters to experience. If you take the initiative, they can come out of the "cultural shell"

and girls, please do not fear, experience and feel the challenge

PS:: The blogs I have mentioned above are the ones that I really love.

----There is never jealousy where there is not strong regard--- Washington Irving


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. hey.... thanx for mentioning me...

    i'm not blogging these days.... because i've got the semester end exam coming and i haven't studied anything....

    but don't worry... i've got lots of ideas to blog about and will be posting them somewhere in mid february.. so please come and waste some time there...

    completely agree with the facts you've mentioned here... and i specifically said around 75% of the women have that kind of inferior thinking when it comes to computing... and i said that the numbers are decreasing.... There is a gradual increase of percentage of women in the workforce but the rate is too slow for our country to take the best advantage of the skillful women...

  3. I think you're exaggerating. I don't have a sister, but I know lots of girls who are pretty good with web stuff. Oh, and my ex-girlfriend is a pretty good driver.

  4. @David
    I too know some girls who are pretty good with the IT stuff as you say. But I still think when taken as a percentage the numbers are not equal if you compare the two genders.

    and another reason for your experience to be different may be the social level you live in. In the higher social class in Sri Lanka girls have more freedom than the girls who live in the middle class or lower class. By freedom I meant the freedom to follow any career they want. So this might be the reason why you see a different percentage of women who are familiar with IT stuff.

    (Hey forgive me if I am wrong. I assumed you live in a higher class of society. Please correct me if I'm wrong )

  5. Even the dean of the Faculty of IT, University of Moratuwa, is a lady. She is also the director of the dialog research lab at Electronics and Telecommunications Department, UoM.

  6. hmm well interesting post. Well this topic came up at one of our lectures at our degree program, The discussion was how women in the Sri lankan society were being "Kitchenized"(yeah i know its some weird word but bear with me) and are being cornered to do what the society tells them to do. But at the end of the day the the whole class started to argue against his view (even females). Are Sri Lankan women deprived of choosing what they want to do in their lives? well thats up for debate i guess...

    I dont know whether every female in the society holds your view point, but to a certain degree i agree with you.

    There are social pressures that drive females and males into who they would become in the future, which may not be what they really want to be...

  7. @chamlia
    You are welcome and i would be more than happy to
    waste hours and hours in your blog. Wish you all the very best for the up coming exams!!

    No,I'm not exaggerating at all. I was talking about my personal experience.Thank you Chamila again (for doing my job)for explaining the possible cause for David's comment.As i think, not only in the career,but the girls from the rich families are also experiencing freedom in many aspects of life.

    Thanks for your information on the FIT of UoM and I think,if time permits you have a lot to say in this as UCSC students did here.

    Thanks for the compliment and sharing the interesting first hand experience on a talk on this subject.(and your "debatable" idea of women being kitchenized is in my to do list now)I agree with you saying that there are social pressures. Don't you think that there are economic pressures too?

    Yes,all the women in the society might not hold my point of view because the thinking patterns of the people differ with regard to the social status in which they live.

    @ all

    This just came into mind.

    If you have read my post titled"Of blogging, ragging and English" ,you might remember that i have said that learning English it self is not enough to to be like one of "them".

    Now I m writing about the IT and girls in English and some of you find that you cannot agree with my points.

    I wrote something similar in Sinhala hereand all the people who commented found that my idea is correct and they totally agreed on it.

    Don't you think that this scrutinize the basic idea I have given in the post about English and fitting into the community of people who speak English?

    PS 1. No hard feelings any body,Please.This
    kind of things interests me for two reasons.
    One- These are the things that have experienced myself and I'm happy to talk about them.
    Two- I'm doing Sociology as a subject in the Uni

    PS 2: I have done some silly spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes in the post. Please bear with me

  8. Nice article, truly, you have a good sense of writing. I agree with 95% of your points.
    But, in good conscience I can say that I'm not the type of putting such limitations for any girl. (I don't have sisters)

    Most of the time what I have seen is that girls are too scared of the computer, and also they tend to think that the computer is just another machine.

    Also, thanks for mentioning my blog. I also like this blog because your blog showed me the way to LinkedIn, and gave me many other useful information that I never knew. :)

  9. I suppose all this 'girls arent good at computers/technology' myth is fueled by our culture ? Because let me tell you that even though in my Comp.Science batch even though the ratio of girls to guys was 1:5, girls did quite well... in fact the batch top was a gal :D . And in my current team @ work, almost half the people (including the lead) are girls.!

    So don't let all those stupid opinions trouble you sis. Cheers!

  10. @niroshinie

    times change!!! now its a boy =D

    not relevent to this topic.. just kidding around

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  12. @ශාකුන්තල
    yes i agree passing exams is somewhat related to 'girawa'. I say somewhat - not 100%. :) That's why I also gave the example of girls in s/w dev. And also its not just the girls who cram is it? I know guys who can say the lecture slide number of a particular topic even.
    The reason that girls get a bad name is partly due to the reason that there are few girls compared to guys in this field. ( stress on 'partly') So when some girls act blond, ppl think we're all blond.
    You shouldn't judge everyone based on a few specimen. I can guarantee that a number of girls would have asked I don't know actually, what does it mean?" in response to your .htaccess file question. Myself included.

    Of course girls need to learn to ignore social norms and stop being damsels in distress too. And guys need to come out of the mindset that all girls can do is cram. How many guys you know willingly elect a girl as a project leader in a group project? How many guys actually listen to a girl when she argues a point? If nobody gives a girl a chance, how can she learn?
    Not trying to start a flame war here, but you have to look at both sides. Ultimately, girls have to perform better not equal if they want to be treated equal...I think this mindset is changing a bit now. Perhaps there's hope :)

  13. @ shaakunthala

    Thanks for the compliment and happy to hear that you have learnt something out of my blog and that you are a real guy(In the sense of humanity)what you say about "It's not on our syllabus, right? and what does it mean?" business is correct.In my idea, it happens because girls, as you say, waste the time on silly things.They do not feel the want to learn new things because they are afraid or not given the chance to go beyond power point, facebook and etc etc. so they are not curious.For example, now i have the need to learn some html and java cz of this blogging adventure.

    how ever, Im really sad when my friends ask me about simple things like how to draw a chart on Excel when the F1 is available in front of them. When I have a problem, I try to solve it myself and if not possible, go for F1 and the third step is looking for third party help. But for most of them, third party help is the first option. that is why they cannot remember anything.

    Any way, when they ask for help, i cannot tell them to use F1. Feel like it is being rude.So, i solve the problem myself somehow and tell them of the solution. i do learn but they do not. At the end of the day, Im blaming them that they do not have the curiosity to learn.

    I do not know how to solve this dilemma.if it was my sis, i would say, "try to help yourself first and come to me later". but for friends???

    speaking of the UCSC lodge, people do not even know about it. I got into the site from one of your blogs. the female contribution is low and another thing i observed was it inactivity.

    When i first logged in, i was impressed.but compared to the Sinhala Blogsphere's technical sector, it is boring and no activity at all it seems.(Again, this is my first impression. If Im wrong do correct me)

    @ niroshini
    Another thank you sis.and yes, the myth is fueled by the culture and some guys use it as an excuse to humiliate girls. on the other hand, the sad part of the story is that girls too believe it. the result is obvious right?

    I really like your last part. "perform better if they want to be treated equal". Food for thought!!

    I think chamila, shakunthala and you have come up with great ideas so that i do not have anything to comment but to learn from your experience. So, no more comments.

    ps: It is very bad of you to comment on my blog. You have already stolen few hours of my precious time!!!(heh..heee...your blog too belong in my "sickish" blog list now. So here I declare, I'm sick of Niroshini's blog too..)

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  15. hey, stop it!! i was just kidding about wasting time

  16. Well , interesting argument. Now if you are really jealous of these guy blogs try to get the technology behind the beauty of their blogs. From the blogs you have mentioned most of them are hosted. If you take Kalinga or Sudaraka , they have their own web sites and blogs. If you are having your blog on or the provided customization is quite limited. For instance you have limitations in changing colors / themes. However wordpress blog technology is open source (visit and anyone can put a wordpress blog on their site. They could use one of the free wordpress themes. Just see here. If you know css you can further modify these themes to your taste. You can add your own colors , graphics , etc.

    Well the technology is not rocket science. You have many ebooks explaining the process of setting up your own blog. On the other hand there are many companies like who provide free domain registration - Eg. My blog.

    Well i hope you will be able to start one of your own blogs. Sometimes a blogger might provide you free web space and for sure you will get their support in setting up a good blog. If am also glad to help.

    So beat up the gender myth of technology by starting a dazzling blog ! You can do it !

  17. @Sandeepa
    thank you brother for providing answers for some questions I had regarding the subject. You really encourage me to have a "dazzling blog".
    but time counts. Right now, Im really busy with the uni stuff.

    Im sure you will see something different here at the end of our next vacation!!

  18. Deeps, you have a good scene of writing and understanding. I have seen your posts that wrote by you. blogging and modification is not that hard. as a blogger user you could start from here. It's 5th month that I visited blogging world. I am not a geek, just a kid who interesting in other field. computer is just my hobby. I will send you some tips and hacks to improve you skills. :)

    wish you good luck!

    Jealous are always not dangers if you made it for goodness. even I have many jealous for many thing, I am petty Jealous of Canada, if I could make sri lanka like that!!! :(

  19. See which is one of best blog guide site written by a gril named amanda. so so...?

    use it to improve your skills too :)

  20. Well, I think this is not the case in western countries. Right now, I am reading a java book which is going to be very helpful in my java coursework and the book is written by three female authors, hehe

    PS I am a male :P

    But as i have seen most girls do not want to excel at their studies actually.
    (කම්මැලි යි. යන්තම් උපාධිය පාස් වෙලා රස්සාවක් කරලා කසාද බදින එක තමා එයාල‍ෙ/ හීන)
    අලුත් දෙයක් කරන්න, අත්හදා බලන්න ආසාවක් නෑ. හැබැයි ආසාව තියන කෙල්ලොත් ඉන්නවා. එහෙම අයගෙයි කොල්ලන්ගෙයි වෙනසක් මම නම් දැකලා නෑ.
    සමාජයටවත් සංස්කෘතියටවත් බැනල තේරුමක් නෑ
    තමන් ට උවමනාව තියෙන්න ඕන, ඒක පුරුෂ පක්ෂයටත් කාන්තා පක්ෂයටත් අදාළයි.